Introduction revising

This is my intro so far

Steve Irwin, better known as the crocodile hunter, once said, “I have no fear of losing my life - if I have to save a koala or a crocodile or a kangaroo or a snake, mate, I will save it." Steve Irwin dealt with death every day, from dealing with crocodiles to catching pythons. Fear of death is commonly seen in society and has prevented many people from doing thing they would like to do, but are too scared to attempt. Although Irwin died, he did so doing what he loved. Not only that, he inspired many people to do what they love, even if it may mean taking a risk and putting life in danger. This theme is shown through the characters of Achilles and Hector. In the story The Iliad, Homer portrays death as detrimental to life. If one constantly fears death and doesn’t take any gambles, they cannot accomplish much in life.

Any suggestions?

Thanks

Still having trouble with my thesis

I want to about gender and power but I'm having trouble coming up with a good thesis statement.
The one from my draft is "In the Iliad Homer shows that man an women do not follow typical gender roles in order to examine the distribution of power between the sexes." But that feels a little clunky, and possibly too simple. I don't want to end up saying the same thing over an over again. Any thoughts on how I could improve this?

Okay, so I'm writing my paper on how time in ancient Greek culture just causes conflict, and I'm thinking about connecting that, in my intro/conclusion to our more modern concept of materialism (because I think it can be argued that we accumulate goods to display some sort of honor, even if it's not necessarily the military type).

Do you think that analysis works at all? And if so, do you think I should devote a paragraph and the beginning to connecting the two so my analysis is more clear? If not, do you have any suggestions as to what I could connect it to?

Obedience/Disobedience

I was throwing some ideas around today to get the subject of my paper going. I would like to focus on the role of obedience/disobedience in an individuals life, especially its ethical role. Hoping you/anyone could give me some feedback on this draft of a single intro paragraph, I will have one before it going into further detail of the time period the epic was written about.

Thanks so much,

Maggie

At a time of primal instincts, moral heroic codes, and of violent raging war. Homer’s, Iliad, provoked the idea of dishonorable heroes, gods, and leaders alike. With a story centered around the fulfillment of destinies, gender roles, and victories, the idea of being obedient is deemed necessary in order to succeed. But Homer gives us many reasons to question the benefits of obedience over its detrimental effects on the life of individuals. And does what Homer has to say about obedience in the Iliad still resonate with us as a society today? And is it ethical to live our lives fully committed to one ideal, person, or faith? In his great epic,The Iliad, Homer suggests that it is with moderation of equal obedience and disobedience that we find moral balance in our lives. Homer illustrates this idea through not only the stories mortal heroes: Achilles, Agamemnon, and Paris. But also through the most highly recognized authoritative figures ever created by man, the Gods.

The Iliad thesis statement

Hey everyone, I'm wondering if I could please get some feedback on my thesis statement.

My thesis primarily states that fear of death is detrimental to life. Basically meaning that if one constantly fears death and doesn't take any gambles, they cannot accomplish much in life.

Also I had a question about how many paragraphs this paper should be, because I can type a 5 page paper using the traditional five paragraph format. However is there a minimum amount of paragraphs involved with this?

Thanks

Adding to your draft

We go through, I think, six different drafts of each script. And then my shooting it is roughly, you know, fifteen percent of the total script. Then it's all post-production animation and polishing after that.
Steve Burns - inimitable host of Blue's Clues

A ridiculous source, I know, but there is an important grain of truth here. When writing is done on a professional level, it gets done and redone again and again. It's important to be able to let some ideas go, develop new ones, and keep making progress toward your final paper.

Don't throw away your drafts, and don't feel bad about scrapping writing you have already done.

Time to get started on your essay!

Analysis paragraph template

In the scene __(paraphrase scene)___, ___(character's name)____ (verb)

that ____(opinion about character in that scene)______. He/she/the narrator

(verb) "___quote connected details from text_____"(pg#). This is important

because ______(explain how details connect to opinion in ts)______. The details

"___words from quote___" and "___words from quote___" show that

____(analysis of details)______. This reveals to the reader that

_____(connection to thesis or general topic of paper)_____.